Warning: Long story because I needed to vent. Feel free to just answer my question at the end of the last paragraph if you don't feel like reading.
I signed Aj up for a sports class on Thursday mornings. Today was our first outing. I thought this would be a perfect opportunity to have him get out of the house and interact with other kids while doing something he loves- play with balls. We started at the t-ball station and he did pretty well for the first few minutes. When his coach came over and wanted to show him the proper way to hold the bat AJ said no. so the coach went onto the next person and tried again a few minutes later. He got behind Aj and showed him the stance and then tried to show him where to put his hands on the bat and AJ lost it. He threw a total fit- including throwing himself on the floor kicking and screaming. I would like to say I am being over dramatic but unfortunately I'm not and it only got worse. We had to switch stations and go onto learning how to kick a soccer ball. Aj refused and caused another big scene where he decided to walk toward the exit crying at the top of his lungs. I was trying not to make this about me (being embarrassed that my son is acting like this and everyone's looking at me) but about him. I tried to explain the changing stations process and what we came here to do, but that didn't go over well so I said we were leaving. He was still screaming so I started to pack up shane and go. When he saw that he said he didn't want to go home but he wanted the blue ball. I thought he meant the blue soccer ball (his was orange) so we asked the boy with the blue ball if we could trade and he did. I gave Aj the blue ball and he threw another fit, so I told him it was time to leave because he was not being a good boy. He of course screams louder and says he doesn't want to go home. The nice boy that gave us the blue ball kicked his orange ball toward the door and Aj ran after it. So did the other boy. When the other boy bent down to pick it up Aj pushes him and starts screaming "my ball" and then Aj starts hitting him. So I made him sit on a chair for time out next to shane while everyone else was playing. I asked him if he was ready to be a good boy and a good listener so he could go join the kids. he said yes. Then comes the next rotation- throwing balls against the wall. he did much better at this activity but did not listen to the coach tell him how to stand or throw and the fourth activity rolling a ball back and forth he didn't even participate in. He decided to beg for candy out of the vending machine that was nearby. Finally the longest 45 minute class was EVER was over and we left. btw, did I mention I had to hold shane through all this?
I was emotionally exhausted and needed some taco bell. As we pulled up AJ said "want out" so we ate in the restaurant. Mr jackal and Dr Hyde showed up. My very well behaved 3 year old sat in the booth ate perfectly with his fork and didn't even make a mess. he carried on conversations with me like we were best friends and he had never done anything wrong in his life. On the way home he asked if we could go to the park. Sure, why not? there's a half hour before nap time it will work out perfectly. We get there he plays nice with the other kids until he wanted to go on the swings and I said it was time to go. WWII broke out again. I put shane in his car seat my bag in the car told Aj it was time to go. He yelled and walked the other direction. I counted to 3 and so I got in the car and started the engine. He came running and screaming ( I felt bad because he really looked scared). I told him I would not leave him or ever hurt him but he needed to listen to mommy when I say it's time to go. I strap him in and back home we go.
He is now in his room screaming because I told him it was nap time and he did not get a song or story because he was not a good listener today. I recounted the park and sports class. I t has been over 45 minutes and he is still yelling mommy. What do I do???? I totally am asking for advise. What do you do when your child throws a fit in a public place?
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10 comments:
I should totally have my sister email you - she has a 5-year-old with high functioning autism and a 3- (almost 4-year-old) who can throw tantrums at any given moment, so I know she's dealt with MANY public scenes. I think you handled it well. I personally hate it when people don't punish a screaming tantrum-throwing kid and give in and give them what they want. They have to learn that it's not appropriate behavior and they're not going to get rewarded for it.
One thing I know my sister does is give her kids an alternative: "Play with this ball, or sit on the bench with me." Just make the alternative something totally worse that he won't want to choose. It seemed to work for my nephews.
Anyway, I have no kids so obviously I'm not an expert, but there's my advice.
You poor thing! I hate tantrums! A couple weeks ago, Cad did the same thing at Carl's Jr! It is really emberrasing, I know! It sounds like you handled it well. I have thought about putting Cade in some type of class like that, because a lot of people do at his age, but I have decided that he just isn't ready for that. . . maybe next year he will be. Maybe AJ is the same way. Maybe he is just too young for so much stimulation and social interaction without people around hime that he knows really well. This may have just been his way of letting you know that. Plus, he is probably still adjusting to the new baby. It took about a year for Cade to fully adjust to that. Anyway, good luck.
I am sorry that I was laughing when i was reading this. Only because I have been through it many times. I think that 3's are way harder than 2's. I agree with all the above. It seems like you are being consistant and he may not be ready for it yet. I had to take Kendall out of tumbling cuz she just wasn't old enough to listen and follow directions. You could try praciting at home what is expected of him too....goood luch you are doing a great job(:
you poor thing! I'm with Dawn... Three's are hard (I'm not there yet) but my sister in law is with My nephew and I won't lie he's hard to handle! Fits all the time, everywhere, for reasons known only to him. With him the only thing that works is 100% consistancy and all the love in the world which I know you've got. Also, the blonde girl on "the View" has what she calls a difficult 3 year old and has tons of ideas from "experts" that she mentions on the "view" Maybe you could check their website... that's probably the only advice I'd take from that show... but I remember being very interested in some things she was saying about it.
I am so sorry! I think you handled it well. Tantrums are hard. I agree with Trenda that he just might not be ready for it yet. My SIL also used the alternative thing with her boys and I tried it with Sydney and it worked well for us most of the time. I think that Macey is going to be my one that will have lots of public tantrums. I'll come looking for advice in a few months. :)
I'm sorry you had one of those days! It just means you are a super mom.:) You did great. Sometimes don't you feel like your kids are bipolar? I know I do!:) I agree...3s are way harder than 2s...for me they were. Just being consistent is probably best. I agree, too, that sometimes the kids aren't quite ready for those classes/organized activities, but I'm totally speaking from my experience...a pretty big change occurs from 3 to 4...Rebecca wouldn't leave my side to interact with new people and then she turned 4 and never wants to come back to me. Of course Baby James will be so different, but you'll know. Then again, with AJ, the more he goes to that class, maybe he'll adjust and learn how things work. Follow your heart, that's what I do!:)
I also laughed just a little bit, but just because I've been there! No advice here, I'm still trying to figure this one out... and mines 5! But threes were definitely the hardest age so far! Good luck! :)
i keep hearing that three is worse than two. so when does it get better and i get my little angel back?
i really do feel like this will be a good thing. that the more he interacts with others, the better he'll get. i thought this would be something that was for him and him only- not shane's. tomorrow we try again... wish me luck.
Good times!!! :) I want you to know I was all about skipping to the end and reading the question until I saw everyone's comments. then I HAD to read what they were talking about. It's not your problem it's his. He can control himself and if that means throwing a fit I'd go home. Why did he get to go inside to eat? Why did he get to go to park when he was bad at his little ball activity? Just the questions I had. I would say if he was bad at baseball ... no getting to make decisions. I just take the girls home and put them to bed. Sleeping solves everything, unless they won't go to sleep, then they get locked in the room which is my form of control. I don't have a enough endurance to get up and down like "Supernanny". My kids might grow up with problems...hmmm, at least they'll have some good stories to tell.
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