Don't you just love newborns. They eat, poop and sleep. Doesn't sound that hard to manage, yet I could use some advise. How do you manage two? What has been some of your strategies for making life as it was before? Or is that not possible. I was sitting there thinking how do I go to the grocery store? Infant car seat in front , AJ in basket- where does the food go? Or do you shop with a Byorn and Aj in front of cart? That's just one of the many questions I have. So moms and all others with good advice (you know from all those books you've read) I would like to hear your best tips. How did you organize your day? anything you think may be helpful let me know. Here's some general categories you can respond to; Housework, giving older brother attention, self-care, work schedule, play groups, shopping, errands.
I know many of you have more than two and probably remember how easy it was with JUST two... well humor me anyways and try to think back. thanks!
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You know that I was psycho when #2 came, so I don't have any good advice!:) I remember being at Henry's and I wanted to keep Brother asleep, so I literally pulled 2 carts around...one with Brother in his infant carrier, one with Bee, and food was stuck all around both of them, because those carts only hold a carseat in the big part. I was such a mess! AJ is older, though, so that's helpful. I remember people telling me to let the older one help out as much as I could so they don't feel excluded. Keeping some of the old schedule things the older one is used to probably helps, too. I think I heard several times a day from strangers, "It's hard now, but when they're older, you'll love it! They'll play and you'll be so glad." In the moment I wanted to tell them to shut their faces, but it's true, when they are older it rocks and is a lot easier in so many ways...this newborn time is the challenging time of figuring it out. Okay I'll stop writing a book now.:) You'll do great...take Prozac if you need it...I probably should've had more Coke back then.:)
One more thing a nurse told me that I was so not good at...she told me it'll be very tempting to treat the older child as if they're a lot older than they really are, so you almost naturally expect them to do things they are not quite ready for. I expected too much out of Bee too early. They really are still "babies" in so many ways.
I didn't do the sleep when your newborn sleeps. I spent that time with the older child. I started shopping at costco (bigger carts) and using the under the cart space for alot of stuff. When he gets a little older use the baby bjourn to carry the baby and seat the older child in front! Live changes fast and you will get back to your schedule quickly!! Love every minute of it.
Ohhh, I remember all of this like it was yesterday! It was very challenging for me to figure it all out! I tried and still do try to avoid taking both kids to the grocery store, but if I had to when they were little, I would put Cade in the seat part and I would place the infant seat in the basket and stick food all around and under. If I put Cade in the cart he would throw everything out . . . still does!! Now I usually have him walk next to me if it is a quick trip. I read to cade a lot while I was nursing Ambree, and always tried to get him out of the house doing what he was used to (park, pool, walks, etc). It will be easier to do this when Shane is a little older! Oh yes, Cade did watch a lot more TV while I cleaned, etc. I tried not to make excuses for not doing things or doing things by blaming the baby! For example: Don't say, "We have to leave the park now because I need to feed Shane." That may be the reason, but say something different. That way, AJ won't resent the baby as much! Good Luck!
Hey! Congrats!! My brothers name is Shane and I haven't heard that in a while. Love the name!
So, life will probably never be EXACTLY the same. I am still trying to figure out life with 3 but here are some suggetions.
#1 Organize day so that your errands are done in the morning when children are less cranky
#2Shopping: I have been told I'm crazy but a lot of times I take all 3. Lucie in car seat, max in cart w/ food piled up to his ears--he usually builds towers with the cans and throws the HORENDOUS fits that you always stare at other parents for, and Hunter walks. By far THE EASIEST WAY IS TO TAKE BABY or go by youself at night when Joel is home. But shopping is better EARLY MORNING.
#3House work--wrong person to ask. I totally suck. My friend gave me good advice though. 1 week on and the next week off. She rotates and gives her self a break from everything every other week.
#4 Self care-make sure you tell your husband if you know your going crazy. I hadn't figured that out until recently and when I told him I needed his help I went out and had time to myself more. Any quite time to be alone with yourself is good-usually :)
#5Play groups- seriously, don't stress. If you feel up to it do it. Its good for AJ to have interaction outside the house.
#6 Attention for AJ - take time with just him 1Xper week
#7 Work schedule - when I teach I usually get a babysitter. I use to stress about it, but if jon isn't home I just get one. Its hard with new borns so I would hold off until like 3 months or something.
Okay, there is my book. I hate it when I ask advice or a comment on something and no one responds. So this is making up for it all:) Over all, just play with AJ and try to enjoy your kids. That is something that has been hard since #3. But you can do it. You are super women anyways. Why are you asking for advice ;)
Boy, I needed these comments just as much as you do, Tricia! Thanks for giving me a headstart on how to cope with two. I'm still trying to figure out how people (Lindsay) handle twins +.
I am not a lot of help, but for shopping, I always used the bjorn. For me it was easier. In fact, come to think of it, I think that I used it for just about everything. I also struggle with what carrie said about not expecting to much from the older one. Let them be the baby too. Sydney will still ask me every once in awhile if I will rock her and even though sometimes I really don't want to or have time to, I stop what I am doing and rock her. It is good for both of us. I also agree with Trenda about not using the baby as your excuse for everything. I think I did this way to much with Macey and now I hear things from Sydney like "She's my mom too Mace." Anyway I hope that all goes well. Just take it one day at a time and if you don't get everything done its okay it will wait for tomorrow. PS, is that Jamey MCClellan(?) that leaves comments every now and then? If it is, tell her I said hi and hope things are well.
Congrats, Tricia! How exciting that your baby is here! Here is my one piece of advice...keep your expectations really, really low :) I know that sounds funny, but often LDS women are WAY too hard on themselves, and it shouldn't be that way. If you set your goals small, then grow into them, you will be substantially less frustrated and quite a bit more happy :) If you spend all day changing diapers and nursing, consider your day a huge, smashing success because both of your children are alive and clean. Reward yourself daily because you survived. I kept a large stash of chocolate handy for those moments when I actually took a nap instead of doing the laundry :) I loved Carrie's comment about take Prozac if you need :) That is awesome and I TOTALLY agree :) Get some sleep and take care of yourself.
HA!!! I'm still learning how to manage ONE! I have all the respect in the world for anyone with one and even more with anyone that has more then one!! Go girl! I will eventually... I suppose, but yikes it scares me to death! You're a super queen though you can do it!
P.S. I'm impressed by everyone elses comments!
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